It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
