All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
