Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
