??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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