I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
