Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
