One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So vagazzling was a success
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
