i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
