Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
