have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
