is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
