the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
