Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
