you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i have herpe
just one?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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