if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
