im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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