is your mom at the bar?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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