remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
