I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
