LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
