i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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