would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
