oh god the rape fog is back!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
