they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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