my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
