Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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