K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Two words: blizzard sex
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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