Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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