It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize