tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
