I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is wine microwaveable?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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