I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
