We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
