Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
