That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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