Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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