community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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