I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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