Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
