I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
