Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
