I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im part way to drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize