On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
