THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
