And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize