My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
