An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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