bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
being pregnant is like rehab
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
