Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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