You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
