Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
