what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize