Nicole vs. Life
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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