Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
