I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
is it fun? or sober?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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