Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
