Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize