careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
