i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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