How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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