I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
