the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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