We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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